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Don’t Drink the Water Auditions

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Don’t Drink the Water is an early Woody Allen comedy that blends his trademark comedy with slapstick situations. The play is set in a communist country in the early 1960’s, during the cold war. A New Jersey caterer and his family must take refuge in the American embassy when they are suspected of being spies. Will they ever be able to escape? Or are they really spies? And will the family start an international incident before the embassy chef decides to kill them?!

 There are roles for four women and ten men. Some of the male roles can be double cast. Several roles will be engaging in physical comedy.

 Character descriptions:

 Axel Magee – An American foreign diplomat who only went into the business due to his father rather than his actual talent in art. He has a tendency to ramble, especially when nervous. He falls in love with Susan during the play. Must be able to play early 20s to early 30s

 Walter Hollander – A caterer from Newark, New Jersey. He is married to Marion and is the father of Susan and Seth. He causes his family to become trapped in the American embassy after he takes pictures of a high security area. He is very loud and abrasive but he can be kind when he wants to. Must be able to play mid to late 40s to 60s.

 Marion Hollander – Walter’s homemaker wife and the mother of Susan and Seth, she too is somewhat abrasive but she’s much kinder than Walter. Must be able to play mid to late 40s to 60s.

Susan Hollander – Walter and Marion’s daughter who falls in love with Axel- Should be able to sing. Must be able to play early to mid-20s Role may be doubled with other role.

Father Drobney – A priest hiding out in the embassy for 6 years with a love of magic tricks. He is the narrator of the play. Actor will be performing a strong amount of physical humor. Must be able to play 40s to 60s. Accent will be used

Kilroy – Ambassador Magee’s stuck-up assistant who is much more competent at his job then Axel. Early to Mid-20s to 40s

Krojack – The head of the Communist police who traps the Hollanders in the embassy. Must be able to play 30s to late 50s. Heavy eastern European accent used. Actor will be performing a strong amount of physical humor. Role is being doubled with other role

Burns – Female assistant working at the embassy. Clean cut, efficient, organized almost to a fault. 18 to 40s

Ambassador Magee – Axel’s father who is the ambassador of the unnamed country and the head of the embassy. Loud, in charge with little patience. Actor will be performing a strong amount of physical humor. Must be able to play 40s to 60s. Role is being doubled with other role.

Chef – The embassy’s chef, who consistently butts heads with Walter. STRONG ROLE FOR CHARACTER ACTOR, some physical humor required. Accent will be used. Role is being doubled with other role. 30s to late 60s

Sultan – Visiting dignitary to the embassy. Role is being double with member of Communist police. Heavy accent used. Age open

Kasnar – Embassy party attendant, Role is being double with member of Communist police as well as extra role. Age open

Novotny – Member of communist police. Must be able to play 20s to late 60s. Heavy eastern European accent used. Role is being doubled with other role

Sultans Wife – Wife to Sultan of Bashir. Role is being doubled with other role. Age open.

Countess Bardoni – Embassy party attendant, Role is being double with other role. Age open

 Auditions dates:

January 14th, 6 – 8 pm & 15th , 7 – 9 pm.

Performance dates:

Performances dates are March  9, 10, 11,  16, 17, 18.

 Cold readings from the script will be provided at auditions

 

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